Magical Muizenbeg

A far cry from the maddening crowd

I once thought it was the dregs of the peninsula. A cheesy holiday town. A seedy lot of leftovers from another (better) time. Until I started spending time there. Which proves that a drive-through is not a drive-in. And you won’t get the picture until you watch the show.

There are secrets here, man! And I’m going to tell you some of them!

Empire
Coffee shop and eatery by the sea

Better than Olympia, and of course co-owned by the same souls (with such grand and antiquated names like that it had to be…). A two-level eatery just off the beachery. Easy. Open. With waiters that slide down a spiral staircase and patrons that carry staffies up them. Good food. good vibe. Barefoot but classy. Have a sunny Sunday molo breakfast there while you still can. Because it’s high summer!

The Beach

No need to mention :

• Its warm waters. Its everlasting expanse of sand. Enough exercise for all your chocolate brownie sins!
• Its people-friendly waves. (which wet suits complain sublimely about, of course, but if you’re too lazy to chase the winds and the waves around the peninsula, you aint a surfer, baby).
• Its earthy mix of peeps. From toofless, topless, tanned toddlers to gangly old grannyvaalies in their bikinis.
• Its awesome sunrises that last all day and leave lots of light hanging in the sky at sunset.
• The easy ocean stroll to other watering holes (the Bell. Punani. I mean Polana. Et cetera) (and no, I’m not mentioning Cape To Cuba because the first and last time I went there, the waitroids were so forking precious about their prettiness that I nearly puked into my mediocre meal.) (but that was a long time ago. So maybe you want to update me?)

A blerry nice Bookstore

With a mature man who fancies himself the father of the hood, and perhaps the sugardaddy of some sweet literary souls…? Visit this learned Daddio and his vinyl store in the back. Go plunder!

Arty Hearty Street with all things nice.

I haven’t explored it yet. But it is calling. Set amongst the itsybitsy suburban houses, it’s a lane of love and luck and lushus pots and paintings and gifts and dance rooms and idunno wot. Watch this space.

Lekker ou convenience store.

With a bit of everything. Jou ma se tuisgebakte koekies, frozen lollies for fifty cent, bananas, fish heads (frozen, for sure), chokolits, and I bet even an old stylie arcade game. But I didn’t linger longer cuz my peeps done laak their lollies mushy. Replete with a u-shaped counter through which you can spy and chat up the man of the store.

Froots and fish on the side of the road

You know, watermelon season alone is reason enough to take a coastal drive and pick up a few pinkhearted melons. Be they froot or booty. (Noman. I don’t actually advocate the anomaly of picking up unknown fruit, but if you do hitch a hiker, choose a sweet one. And protect yourself. Melons make lovely mess!) (do it nekkid!) (kaalbutt) ok, I go now.

Add your add-ons. I’m sure there’s millions more moments and madnesses I don’t know about Muizenberg. Like its assortment of film production companies…. Jo?